Camp Complain

Well I took a break from posting. Geez, mainly for this very reason. I don't know how to pick up where I left off. I've been in a negative space lately and I did not want to write until I was feeling a little better. Honestly, I don't know when that's gonna' be. So I apologize ahead of time for this post.

I am still undergoing IOP. They have put me on this medication, Seroquel, for my moods. It most definately comes with a price. I mean that literally and figuratively. They do not make a generic form of seroquel so I must pay $106.00 for half a month's supply of it; though that's because I have a $250.00 deductible on brand-name prescriptions. Now as for the physical side effects, I suffer from daily headaches, agitation (like a menopausal woman needs to be even more agitated!) dry mouth, weight gain, trouble urinating, and uncontrollable muscle movements and confusion. Yep, all that so I don't drive myself nuts. You may even find this post confusing to read and that's because I am confused.

Lets see now... what next? Oh yes I remeber now. Last week I was a victim of road rage, so now I have to deal with my insurance company in getting my car fixed and hopefuly finding the asshole who caused damage to my car. You see, he did not stick around once he dented my car, he hopped on his motorcycle and sped away. What this asshole didn't realize was he was messing with one girl who has had it up to here with life's little bumps. So I pulled into the far shoulder lane and drove through traffic to catch up with this jerk to get his license plate number. The whole time I am driving I have my schizoaffective brother screaming at me and telling me I am the crazy one. Yes, I do admit, I snapped and I now realize that was not the safest thing to do, but I did get half of the jerk's license plate number. I think I also scared the crap out of him. Once I found him and drove up on him to get his plates he looked like he saw a ghost and sped off again. I am sure he thought I was a girl and I was just going to take his rage. Well he was wrong.

Then there is my brother... can't even begin to express the upset and the relationship we have now. Its heart wrenching to me. Then I have my therapist and others tell me "don't take this stuff personal, its the disease and not your brother talking." None of this advice matters right now... all I feel is pain.

Yes, and I am still going thru chemotherapy and suffering from its side effects. I still don't know when there will be a light at the end of this paticular tunnel.

My awesome camera that my father -in-law, Larry, gave to me is now on the frits. Larry is a smart guy and bought an extended warranty. :) So at least I am able to send my camera in for repairs. :)

I think I am finished complaining now. I am sorry about that. I felt like I had to let it out before I could move any further. I know things could be worse... for example, I could be a displaced citizen of Louisiana. Those poor people. I wish there was something that I could do physically to help them out. The Red Cross requires that volunteers be in good health and thats obviously not me ! :) I think what I will do is donate clothes and canned foods. How about you guys out there? Want to join in and help? These people really need our help. Forget about me! I have got nothing to complain about compared to them.

So before i close this post i wan't you to know one thing and that is i went camping this past weekend. Cary and I for the last three years, has set up a camping trip in Nevada County, California. It is beautiful up there! Its a time when we catch up with old friends and get aquainted with new friends. We had a blast. Thanks everyone who was there for joining us again this year. Special thanks to Kizzy, Alice, Dede, and my husband Cary. Also thanks to Flo and Kriseda for the Luau dance. That was Great! :) Gaela, next time you have got to come. There is lots of fun to be had!

Regarding my last post, my husband and I are still working out the details. Thank you Torrie, Aeryn, Joi, Gaela, David for offering a hand. We will be getting back to you when we have the time. :)

Last but not least thank you Toby for the T-shirts. We will take a picture and post you later!

Love to All!

Lori