No Rest For the Wicked

Ya, so I went to my DR./Chemotherapy appointment yesterday (Friday). My WBC's were back to a close to normal level so I "qualified" for another round of chemo. Despite qualifications and all that boo-ya-blah-blah, my brain is just lame. I have become very tired and in need of a break. Lisen to your body right? So I asked my DR. for some time to recoupe. Just a month please?
"AH??... Lori the results from your last C.T scan show that the therapy has been keeping your cancer stable." "Yes... well isn't that a good thing." [I mean everyone that does not have stage IV, terminal cancer is telling me that. Sorry , that was uncalled for... lets just say I am a little pissed off in the moment. I know that cancer being stable is better than cancer that is uncontrollable! So, yes things could always be worse.] Anyways, to make things short she said "NO... I am afraid of the what might happen." Yah DOC . I know what you mean.
Just between you (yes you) and I , I cried myself to sleep last night and I cry now. Though its not all sadness it's mixed with madness.

Name that tune or group
So I'm... insane in the membrane, insane got no brain...
Well at least I have music to help. Put on a good track and I have forgotten all thats been "whack!" Hey, I'm a poet and didn't know it!

So as always, the mantra is Fuck Cancer. Excuse my langauge, the devil, I mean the cancer made me say it. ;)

Well as usual, I feel better after writing.

Though I don't always mention it... I could never have gotten this far without my husband, family, friends, and all my cancer crounies. I Love you guys! Your support is the best medicine. I sincerely mean that.

post later