Day 11: Things I'll Never Forget About Lori
Her Constant CompanionshipThere is no doubt that Lori had a way of making me feel loved and appreciated like no one had ever done before, but I think what I miss the most about her right now is just her constant and complete companionship.
Through every up and down of our lives together I never once felt I had to go it alone. She showered me with undying devotion, and I, in turn, did the same to her.
We shared the rare love that goes unquestioned. The rare marriage untarnished by petty arguments. The rare peace that is completely untouched by anger.
Ours was a relationship of sincere respect, adoration, and sublime sweetness of heart.
Lori's constancy in my life; her physical presence when I crawled out of bed in the morning, her phone calls "just to say I love you" during the day, and the warmth of her body next to mine while we snuggled on the couch every evening are all things that I am struggling hard to come to terms with as they haunt me with each passing day.
The memories remain both enticingly sweet in their content, and decidedly melancholy with the constant marching of time.






4 Comments:
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sue said...
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- 11:26 AM
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SarahC♥ said...
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- 3:09 PM
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C. Miller said...
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- 3:52 PM
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SarahC♥ said...
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- 5:12 PM
Post a CommentMy husband and I have s relationship like yours and Lori's. I am wondering how he will get through his life with out me also....:-(
((((U))))
Hi there..
I've read Lori's blog for quite a while but this is only the second comment that i've left. I'm not good with words, but i feel like i have to say something.
This memorial to your wife is wonderful. Everyday i read it and everyday it brings a tear to my eye. The devotion and love you both shared comes through with each and every post you write.
I myself am married, but in an abusive relationship and this blog, it gives me a glimmer of hope that despite what life throws at you, it IS entirely possible to have a loving/caring/respectful companion.
I'm sorry for your loss...
Sarah♥
Thank you both so much for your kind words.
Sue, while I know it is none of my business... have you let your husband know what you would like him to do in the event that you don't make it?
I feel blessed by Lori in so many ways, but perhaps most importantly by the fact that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would simply want me to be happy.
That may be a long time coming, but knowing she wants me to be happy is a great weight off of my shoulders.
I don't know where that happiness will come from, but I do know that when I find it, and in whatever form it takes, I will be able to accept it without guilt or remorse.
My wife blessed me by simply letting me know just how deep her love truly went.
Even though it was very difficult to do at the time, a few years ago, when she received a premonition that she wouldn't ultimately survive her cancer, we had an intimate talk about what she would like to have done with her body, etc.
It made things a lot easier when she did pass rather unexpectedly, and when I have scattered her ashes in Hawaii I will know that I have fulfilled that last wish for her.
If I hadn't know what she wanted I would be wracked with guilt and frustration trying to figure out if I'd done the right thing.
And Sarah,
I'm so sorry you are in an abusive relationship. If Lori were alive today she'd hop on a plane (chemo be damned,) and fly over there and kidnap you so that you wouldn't have to spend another day in such a life-destroying relationship.
I am so, so sorry.
There are MILLIONS of wonderful men in the world. You have to take your time getting to know them, but they are there.
Lori and I were nearly best friends for two years before we even kissed.
It was worth the wait.
By the time we were actually "involved" with each other, we knew exactly what we were getting into it, and had a perfect marriage because of it.
Bless you both.
C.
Thank you for your wonderful reply you don't know how much it means to me. Despite your pain you are kind enough to respond.
Please don't be sorry for me, i WILL be okay. Just need to get strong. Strong for me AND my son. He's drained me right now, it'll take time, but it will come...i know that for sure.
Thank you so much again..
SarahC♥
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