Oh Crap!

Oh crap!!

So the six months of adriamycian/cytoxan I was scheduled for only lasted five months. The good news about this was that I was so, so tired of that drug and was glad to see it go. The bad news is that it did absolutely nothing for me. About half way through the treatment I started coughing. Nothing major at first just a little annoying. Then a few more months passed and my cough became progressively worse. Now not just a cough but at times weezing and shortness of breath. This whole time I try to remain positive. I tell myself maybe the chemo is actually working and this would cause some form of irritation in my lungs. Then the results from the CT Scan are in. More growth in the lungs. Just writing this brings me to tears.

For the almost four years since my diagnosis I had no major symptoms from this disease. Now I am plagued with this cough. It is at its worst in the morning and night. Sometimes the cough is so violent I feel like I may expel a lung. At other times I have actually lost what I had eaten for breakfast. There are no cough medicines that seem to help any. My DR. even prescibed me a steriod inhaler and nada. But at last I have found that anxiety medications do bring just a bit of relief. That is better than nothing and besides I have always been a bit of a space cadet even more so after all these years of chemotherapy.

So what now? Well, I have started a new treatment, 5FU/Oxaliplatin. This type of therapy requires an infusion at the hospital as well two more days of continous infusion by way of a portable pump that I must carry on myself. I recieved my first treatment two weeks ago and it didn't seem so bad. My oncologist prescribed me neupogen (to increase my white blood cells) and I thought that the amount was a little overkill but boy was I wrong. I went in for my second treatment of 5FU this last Tuesday and my WBC and platelet counts were at the lowest they have ever been! "Oh gawd," I think to myself. With my counts being that low it will be at least another two weeks before I recieve another treatment. How is the chemo supposed to be effective if I can't take it as prescribed?

So how do I end this post on a positive note? Well despite the fact that I feel incredibly discouraged, I still must press on. I am not giving up. I am one of those stubborn types.